When I finished kissing the kitchen floor and FINALLY took a much needed shower i started to think, what am i going to do??? When Luke dropped me off he said " I will give you a call next week or closer to the weekend and let you know when we are going to start up again." Any normal person, that went through what i just did, would have said something along the lines of "yah i don't think i can do this anymore" or "thanx for the job but i don't think this is going to work." ANYTHING but no what do i say .... well in my head i was screaming "ARE YOU SERIOUS i am a hair stylist, I can't take all the aussie men, the 4% milk, all the bouncing around in a combine cab with you ANYMORE, no more irish stew, no more infested beds and NO more showers that smell like dead animals!" but no my verbal response was "ok thanx". GREAT i didn't know what to do.
I could not stop thinking about it. If i quit i would have to call him and I really didn't want to do that. He would not understand, I was acting like I loved the job. I played the part of a Canadian girl that loves to combine VERY well. I even started to fool myself. I have a problem, all i want to do is please people!
Me Max and Mell talked that night and it was decided that i would quit (like it was a hard choice or something) The next day i called the family to tell them all about it. I could not make the phone call no matter how bad i wanted to i just could not do it. I told Mell she had to take away something of mine if i had not called by the time she got back from the store. I called Jacklyn and tried to make her call him and pretend she was me, how could he tell one Canadian from another? She didn't have any long distance.... but then again i guess it would look a little off when the caller ID said "United States". I just had to do it, what was so hard? its not like he could hurt me threw the phone.
Well mell had some people from the ward coming over for a dinner thing and i realized i had to call before they arrived or else i would not be able to relax and have a good time. So I called and man was i happy when i got the machine SO HAPPY. I left a message..."hey Luke its me (like i was a old friend or something... and then i added) Angela... if you could just call me back that would be good thanx" I AM RETARDED now it was worse I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO CALL NOW. You would have though i was on some serious drugs if you saw the way i was shaking and could not sit still.
The sisters in the ward started to arrive and my cell phone rang i took my sweet time getting it and to my darn luck i missed it.... dang?
At last i just relaxed, I could call him in the morning and just get it over with... THE HOUSE PHONE RANG ...i about crapped my skinny jeans. (i swear they are NOT that tight just nice for a long top and or boots) Mell asked me if i could get it ... i knew who it was... i started to panic. All day i was practicing what i was going to say, i made Mell act like she was Luke and i was me over and over again.... i even held my hand up to my face like a phone and talked into it over and over again. I made notes in point form just in case i forgot what to say. But this .... this was out of the blue... i had no words no nice little intro to the news i was about to give him. I had never felt more helpless in my life.... i think.
I pressed TALK
Me "whimper Hello"
LUKE "ah yea Angela, its luke"
ME "oh hey"
............... long pause .....no words... THINK ANGELA THINK
LUKE "Sorry i missed your call i was down stairs"
ME "oh were you...that's nice"
(i could tell it was my turn to say something but i could not form words)
ME "oh ya i called you ... i just wanted to talk to you about work...
LUKE "yea yea what was it?
ME "oh well i just was going to tell you... that....i ... am going to have to help Max and Mell move this week so i don't now if i can work.....?
LUKE " oh yah right oh well when are you moving?
ME " oh i don't know... but... ummm after we move we are going to Brisbane for the weekend...
LUKE "oh .......................... (long long long pause...it was my turn to talk again.)
ME "And after that i think i am going to get a job in a salon.....
LUKE (didn't say anything just make a noise like WHAT)
ME "i mean i am a hair stylist...
ME "i am no good at this field work....."
ME "Thank you so much for the chance and everything but i am just a baby?"
LUKE " um... ok .... well ... ah..."
ME " Yah...i'm sorry i don't know what else to say except thank you?"
LUKE "i guess i will get you some cash here in the next week "
ME " yah that would be good"
( long pause and at the same time BYE )
I hid my face in a pillow for like 30 seconds i was bright red and didn't know what i just said or if it made any sense. Ifelt so bad SO BAD almost made my self sick bad... and then i started to think WHY DO I FEEL BAD . People quit jobs for allot less.
Anywho from this i have learned, well i don't really know... i guess i leaned not to live in a "farm house" with 5 men ... never to take a shower for granted.... but i think the one thing i really learned was that the OUT BACK is no joke....and not to be taken lightly THIS KIND OF STUFF HAPPENES TO REAL PEOPLE EVERY DAY!
Man alive .....THE END